Worry has always been the background music of my life.  Safety, security, and support have been deep-rooted desires of my heart for several years.  I can remember feeling anxious about things at a young age, and as I grew older my fears and worries just grew with me.  God has proven faithful to see me through the fears of my life—he has always seen, understood, and rescued me from my troubles, telling me, “Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, even here, Michelle, you don’t have to be afraid,” (Psalm 23).  What a beautiful shepherd, what an amazing Savior Jesus is.

After struggling through my most recent bout of anxiety, I felt broken and frustrated at my inability to just trust Jesus—after all, he is called faithful and true (Revelation 19:11), and has a perfect record of faithfulness in my life.  I realized despite my best intentions, my heart desperately needed to know that I was safe.  The hunger for security in my soul had reached and all-time high, and I had started scouring scripture and quenching my spirit with the truth of our security and safety in Christ. 

Sweating Blood

During the Passion week this year, I decided to read and soak in the details of Jesus’ great suffering and sacrifice for us on the cross.  I read to understand the depth of Jesus’ despair as He prepared to go to the cross: “[Jesus] withdrew about a stone’s throw beyond them, knelt down, and prayed, ‘Father if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.’…And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:42, 44).  I have experienced great stress and anxiety in my life, but never to the point of sweating blood.  This is such a vivid depiction of the great distress Jesus encountered on our behalf. 

I continued studying through John chapters 14-17. At this point, it is clear that Jesus knew every single trauma he was going to endure in order to give his life as the perfect sacrifice for our sins.  He knew all the pain, humiliation, and injustices he would go through, culminating in an excruciating death on a device created by the oppressors of his people.  Jesus knew full well that he would be betrayed by a disciple that had been with him during his ministry, he would be arrested, bound, mocked, slapped, beaten, whipped, crowned with thorns, paraded before angry mobs, interrogated by evil men, disowned and denied by one of his best friends, abandoned by some closest to him, forced to carry his own cross, and ultimately die in a manner deserving of criminals. 

Selfless Love

If I were in Jesus’ position, I would be inconsolable.  If I was anticipating even one of these things to happen to me, I would be so consumed with fear that I would be rendered totally helpless.  I would have no capacity to deal with the disciples and their issues and shortcomings, and everyone I encountered would be completely aware of the ordeal I was about to withstand. 

However, Jesus suffered willingly on our behalf.  Even though He knew, Jesus responded with total selfless love and concern for His followers.  His words are like healing waters on a soul distraught with worry.  On the eve of the horror of the cross, Jesus reassured the disciples with these wonderful words in the book of John:

Let not your hearts be troubled.  Believe in God; believe also in me.  In my Father’s house are many rooms.  If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”  (14:1-4)

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.  Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me.  Because I live, you also will live.” (14:18-19)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  Not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your hearts be troubled neither let them be afraid.”  (14:27-28)

Abiding Love

“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved youAbide in my love.” (15:9)

“These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” (15:11)

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command you.  No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”  (15:13-15)

“…for the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”  (16:27 & 33)

Sweet Rest in Jesus

Jesus’ words are not only filled with promises of love, joy, peace, and comfort, but he is also telling his disciples his impending death on the cross will bring complete reconciliation with God the Father, so we may be deemed friends of God.  If worry is like a heavy weight breaking the soul, Jesus’ words make the heart whole and light.  Such a sweet rest we have in Jesus. 

Finally, in John chapter 17 we see Jesus pray for his disciples, past and present.  It is absolutely stunning to think that when Jesus walked the earth, he prayed for us!  And not only did he lift us up in prayer, but he specifically prays for our safety

We Are Safe

I am coming to you; I will not stay in the world any longer.  But they are still in the world.  Holy Father, keep them safe by the power of your name…While I was with them, I kept them safe by the power of your name, the name you gave me. I am not asking you to take them out of the world but to keep them safe from the evil One.  I pray for these followers, but I am also praying for all those who will believe in me because of their teaching.” (John 17:11, 12, 15, & 20).

What a wonderful Savior you are, LORD Jesus!  Thank you, LORD Jesus for being obedient to death on a cross so that we would no longer have to be afraid!  Thank you for declaring your ultimate love and protection over us by enduring the terror of the cross and conquering death so we could be brave of heart. 

Love has come, and we are safe.