Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with
thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which
surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
My phone rang just as my husband and I stood in line about to board a flight to return home. Heavy sobs and jumbled words assaulted my ear. I knew it was my teenage daughter, back at home and in distress. After encouraging her to breathe and getting her calmed down so I could understand her, she screamed that my son had been hit by a car. “He was pinned between two cars Mom!” My mind couldn’t keep up with her. “My son was hit by a car?” Wait….. “What?”
Finally registering the news, I immediately questioned, “Is he OK?” No response. Just sobs. “Honey, Is he OK?” and then again, “Mom, he was pinned between two cars!” Her emphasis on each word struck me as if to say “Duh, are you listening to me?” And then just as quickly, she shouted, “I have to go. The police want to talk to me.” And she hung up! Just like that, she hung up! No assurances that my son was ok. No information as to his condition. She just hung up.
I stood staring at my husband in disbelief. Quickly he began making phone calls to his employees. (The accident occurred outside his office where our children were working as the moving crew hauling boxes from the old office to the new.) No answers. We got our second call to board. Frantically he made more phone calls & left voice messages. No one was answering. Equally frantically I texted dear friends and family asking them to pray. The third and final call to board rang out; we had to get on that plane and get home. News or no news. We found our seats and buckled up for the longest hour and a half we have ever spent!
My Prayers Flew to Heaven
As we soared through the skies, tears began to flow as I sat silently praying. I begged God to protect my son. “Please Father, let him be okay. Lord, please.” I prayed while my husband doggedly tried to use the plane’s Wifi to communicate with anyone who could get us word on his condition. Nothing. The Wifi didn’t work. There was nothing else we could do. We were at the mercy of time…and ultimately God.
And mercy is what He gave me during that excruciating flight.
While I cried out to him he listened and ministered right back to me. It’s really quite hard to explain what transpired during that flight. I was actively praying for my son’s protection, for us to make our connecting flight without any delays, and for his peace to surround my son and my daughters. The thing I couldn’t stand was that I wasn’t there and that I had no idea how my son was doing. I prayed for God to be with them. “BE WITH THEM,” I remember my hands turning to fists as I prayed.
And then it came….
The Holy Spirit ministered to me while I called out in fear. Like a soundtrack in the background of my mind, I heard the lyrics “My God is an awesome God. He reigns from Heaven above. With wisdom, power, and love, my God is an awesome God.”
Before I knew it I was actively singing it in my mind. My cry for help had turned into a cry of worship. I felt comforted. And then came, “He gives and takes away. He gives and takes away. My God is an awesome God. Blessed be his name.” My throat tightened with a stifled cry. “Is he gone, Lord? What are you telling me, Lord? Is he gone? Please, not my son. Please, God, NO”
My fists tightened as I prayed harder, begging God to let me keep him, telling Him that he’s so young and has such a bright future! And then again, “My God is an awesome God. He reigns from Heaven above. With wisdom, power, and love, my God is an awesome God.” The words repeated several times. But then came, “He gives and takes away. He gives and takes away. My heart will choose to say, Blessed is His name.”
It Hit Me Like a Mack Truck!
The prayers of this begging mother were turning to demands of a mother who thought her son was her own. And I knew. I KNEW. What he was asking me, I already knew and I really didn’t want to answer. I was holding on to something-someone-who wasn’t mine to hold onto, and God wanted me to release my grip.
Would I praise God, love God, and believe God for his promises if this prayer wasn’t answered? Would I bless his name no matter if my son was alive and well or if his time here with me had ended? Do I trust God to work out the good and perfect plans he promises me (and every believer) in his way, his time, and his wisdom?
Time passed. I released my fists and exhaled. I said yes. “Yes, Lord, I will. Who else do I have but you? I’ll praise you even if it hurts to do it. I realize he is not my own, but a gift you’ve given me. I really would like to have him longer, but if you say no, I still love you and I still believe you are good.”
We landed to an orchestra of beeps on our cell phones. Messages told us that our son seemed to be ok and was talking as the ambulance took him away. We felt relief. Doctors planned to run some tests and scans to ensure there was no internal damage, but things were looking good. Dear friends not only prayed, but some rushed to the hospital to care for our children until we could return. Their love and presence were a sweet gift to all of us and a mercy of God.
When our feet touched ground, we raced home. Our son had been released and was home resting. Aside from some good bruises and soreness, he would be just fine. The relief we felt at that moment was indescribable. I was beyond grateful. We enjoyed our evening together as a family, blessed again by other dear friends who cared for us with a homemade meal.
As I settled my head on my pillow that night, my heart was grateful but still heavy. God had taught me a valuable lesson. My son was not my own. I am not in control.
As much as I love and treasure each of my children, my husband, my whole family, and my friends, they ultimately do not belong to me. They are God’s. And while I had uttered those words before, the true test of believing them came to pass. Do I believe what I say I believe? By God’s grace and mercy I do!
We are not our own.
Genesis 2:7 introduces us to this truth, “then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.” Scripture says in Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” And John 1:3 “All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made.”
We are the workmanship of the Creator of the world! The one who created you did so with purpose and in love. God can be trusted to care for those he created. How do I know this? Because his love was so great that he died a horrible death on a cross to demonstrate to what lengths he would go to show us that love. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Life Application
Is there something or someone that you are holding on to too tightly? Are you trying to control what God can best control? Take some time, exhale, release your grip and trust God to care for you.
