Do you ever leave a group activity wondering if you shouldn’t have said that one thing? Or if you should have said that other thing? Do you wonder if that new friend thinks you’re crazy? Or if your old friend is tired of you? Do you wonder if you’re too honest? Or not honest enough?
I do.
I have wondered most of these things in the past month! And I bet a lot of you have too.
I’ve noticed that I have a lot more worries about what others think of me when I’m feeling insecure, discontent or generally unsettled about something in my life. Sometimes it’s situational, and it makes sense (like when I’m on my period or I’m in a season of grief or loss).
But sometimes, it’s just one of those days. Nothing is seemingly glaringly wrong and my night was fun, yet on my drive home, I’m thinking, No one likes me. Why would anyone want to be friends with me? I’m crazy, and everyone knows, and I’m a bad friend and … (fill in the blank).
It’s true. You might be thinking I’m being dramatic, and granted, I am a little dramatic in general. But this is all true.
These are true confessions.
When I read the command of Colossians 3:2, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things,” I feel at a loss. How does one do that?
Clearly, I’m no expert, but the Lord has shown me a few things on this spiritual journey, and I want to share them with you (and myself) here:
Be grateful
Physically make a list of five things you’re thankful for. As this becomes more of a habit, I want you to try to encompass both things God has done – “successes” – and ways in which He is faithful despite hard circumstances.
Declare who God is
In the front of my Bible, I have written a list (it’s still ongoing) of names and traits of God that I find in His Word. Looking back and speaking who He is immediately lifts my focus off of myself and toward the King.
Worship
Pick bands and songs that sing theology. My favorites right now are Shane and Shane, Austin Stone Worship, and City Alight. Meditate on the words and/or sing along. He is always worthy of praise.
Remind myself who I am in Christ
To battle our harmful inner dialogue, we must replace those damaging thoughts with truth. It is not enough to simply deny our harmful self-talk. Let Scripture define how you speak of yourself (even in your mind!). My favorite passage for this is Romans 8, but there are so many others.
Pray for your friends
Pray for those close to you and your not so close friends. We are more than likely all going through something hard, maybe even more than one hard thing. Let’s believe the best about people, and when that is hard, praying for that person helps soften your heart towards them.
Have grace, friends, for yourself and for each other. I’m speaking as much to myself as I am to you! May we go forth in love and lift our eyes to our gracious King of kings.
