Have any of you ever seen the old 80’s movie The Shining? Wait – don’t lose me here if you think that horror movies aren’t compatible with Christianity… Still here? Okay, do you remember when the mom is running around the house with a baseball bat looking terrified and completely unaware of how to even use that bat if the time came?
That’s the image that runs through my head when I have to make hard decisions – like I’m running through the house with a weapon that I don’t know how to use against a maniac who is after me somewhere in a huge hotel! Can anyone relate?
There is so much on all of our plates, all the time, isn’t there? Doesn’t it seem like we are always hoping for the next season, when “things will calm down a little”?
But will they?
What if we feel paralyzed to say “no”, lest we miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Or perhaps we’re scared of letting someone down if we don’t commit to that role. Or maybe we feel like we are the only ones who could possibly do this certain thing because we have the most experience or we have the passion for it or (let’s be honest), we could do it the best.
I feel this tension more often than I would like. But you know what, I don’t want it! I don’t want to feel like my mind can never rest because of my endless to-do list. I don’t want people to say, “Oh, you’re just so busy” as a reason why they didn’t invite me to do that certain thing.
And then, on top of everything else, I obviously want to choose to fill my life with things that honor the Lord. I want to be walking in His will, not just my own. Whew, take a deep breath with me.
Okay, here’s what we need to do.
We must say “no” to some good things, some of them really good things, in order to say “yes” to the very best things.
Read that again – we need to say “no” to good things, to say “yes” to better things. It is simple, but it is not easy.
A lot of people around us have opinions, shared or otherwise, about how we should spend our time. Sometimes people assume that our capacity should match theirs, or that because of our personality, we should be able to put more things on our plate. Sometimes people judge us because they don’t know what’s happening in our lives that requires our stepping back.
Sweet sister, may God alone be your audience. He knows your heart. He knows your season. He knows that sometimes what is good isn’t what is best.
One of my old mentors in Texas used to share with us something that really changed the way I view God.
He would say, “God isn’t some finger-wagging, scowling man, watching our every move and condemning each misstep.”
No, friends! God is our Father!! He has GOOD for us.
Imagine that when we make choices, instead of God standing there with folded arms, hoping you’ll choose the one right way, our kind Father has two (or more!) awesome choices in His hands – say a bright red Jeep Wrangler and a forest green Subaru Forrester. They are both SO GOOD, but they are different.
He says, ‘My daughter – which one do you want? The choice is yours, my love.'” (By the way, I would totally pick the Jeep Wrangler!)
Wouldn’t reminding ourselves of our kind Father make us a bit more free, instead of frozen with fear to walk forward and choose the wrong thing? (Obviously, there are things we should not choose to move forward with – like murdering our co-worker, for example.). But with most things, I think God delights in giving us choices and freedom to choose!
James 1:17 says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (CSB)
He never changes. Our Father is always good and always giving us gifts. Gifts of choices and people and passions. Romans 8:32 states, “He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (NIV) He is a giver of good things, friends.
So what do we do? How do we know what to do?
We pray, and then we choose.
I am in the middle of a handful of decisions right now. Do we try for another baby? If so, when should we start? Should I start volunteering at the pregnancy center again, even though my heart is still heavy with loss from my last miscarriage? When should I start nursing school? Should I say “yes” to that other volunteer opportunity at church? How much time should I give to this ministry? What should I do on Thursday mornings, when I have my littlest one all to myself?
Life Application
Right now, one of my continual prayers is that I would be patient (mainly with my kids), present in every moment, and peaceful (both towards others and in my spirit). I don’t know the answer to any of these questions yet, but I am praying. And one day (sooner for some and later for others), I will have to make a choice and move forward. And people may disagree with my choices. They might not understand my choices. But I am accountable to God alone. And that should give me freedom. I hope the same for you, sister.
Recommended Resources
There are only a few verses in the Bible that discuss the will of God. Basically, the will of God is for us to act justly, love mercy, be humble, be pure, to give thanks in everything, and to do good.
Do a study of God’s will from the following verses: Micah 6:8, Rome 12:1-2, 1 Thess 4:3, 1 These 5:18, 1 Pet 2:15.
Lay your decisions at His feet. Seek His guidance, and then act in faith, dear sister.
