And Adam called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. Genesis 3:20, KJV
On Composting and Magic
I have found there is a special kind of magic in a compost pile. In this part of the country, growing anything is an uphill battle. The soil is dry, hard, and primarily composed of clay. Plants that grow wild here do so by tooth and claw, clinging stubbornly to crevices in the rock, delving deep in search of moisture, spreading sparse and craggy branches. Plants in some mountain valleys have an easier time as do those cultivated in gardens, but as a whole these high plains are harsh and unforgiving.
My backyard exemplifies this. But I am determined to grow clover in this hard earth, so I started a compost pile in the hopes of having some organic matter to use in my prospective flowerbed. The enchantment comes at the end of the summer after this pile of food garbage has sat with a little time. What was inert, barren ground and some kitchen scraps came alive. There is life in the dirt between my fingers and the dust under my nails, and this life leads to more life: I have created the environment for living things to flourish working only with the natural mechanics in the earth. This is a miraculous transformation.
Is it Limiting to be “Nurturing?”
A common complaint against proponents of traditional womanhood is that they expect women to be nurturing, that they limit women into this narrowly defined role. In our modern feminist society, such a concept sound restricting and outdated, particularly to women with aspirations other than marriage and family. To modern ears it sounds like a declaration that a woman ought only to bear children, that therein her value lies. Perhaps it even conjures an image of a woman without interests or passions. I’ve known women who felt excluded by this paradigm because they had more robust, aggressive personalities. Saying that femininity means having kids is, of course, a gross oversimplification, and excludes a growing subset of women who don’t fit into that definition. However, that’s not what it means to nurture.
Nurture Defined
The dictionary definition for this word is simply “to feed and protect,” to create the conditions necessary for life. At the most basic biological level this is what a uterus does, but it can be extrapolated to all areas of life. When I’m getting coffee with a friend or working in my garden, these are nurturing behaviors regardless of the fact that I am single and childless. We need more than just food and shelter to lead a well-rounded life; beauty, compassion, friendship; and I am providing these things when I’m friendly and respectful at work, when I build community, and when I pursue art and music. With this definition, femininity is profoundly transformative.
A woman, on the surface, may be performing the same tasks as a man, but the energy she can bring to it is different. When we say femininity is nurturing, we are saying it is contribution to the building blocks of life itself. This occurs in whatever capacity an individual woman might employ herself, and it certainly doesn’t require her to give up her own needs and interests. With this in mind, motherhood becomes not the only expression of femininity, but the most archetypal. It is taking hold of that act of creativity exclusive to womanhood.
Never Underestimate the Value of Life
If nurturing means creating a space full of life, why should we think that’s restricting? Care and ambition are not mutually exclusive. In fact, they can work together in incredible ways. There ought to be more kindness in the world, not less. It can be easy to look at these actions and feel that they are lesser, that caring for my friends and family is keeping me from “greatness.” But this thinking fails to take into account that life is sacred. Just as in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, we are participating in God’s design for us when we, in our unique ways, reflect that first act of creation; even if it’s in the little magic of growing flowers.
Recommended Resources
If you find any of the ideas here compelling, I recommend the album Daughters and Sons by We Are the Guests, a folk album that beautifully explores family, community, and relationships. It’s rare to find music that so highly values commitment and family and does so through a Christian worldview.
